We went back to the hospital today, to get the results of Sharon's GFR test and so she could sign the consent forms for her next cycle of chemotherapy. That was hard. Last time she had to sign a release form it stated "disease management and possibly survival" as the reasons for treatment. This time it was simply "disease management".
Her next treatment is palliative, not curative, so it is purely to make her more comfortable and to keep the cancer at bay. I'm so scared for her, but can't show it. She is being positive, but I don't think she is ready to face the fact that she might not survive this. All I want is for her to be happy for as long as we have left.
I saw my doctor tonight, and he told me that I should not lose hope yet, and that although "palliative" chemo is unlikely to cure the cancer, it is still too soon to lose hope, and that although things do look bleak, it could be 6 months, or 10 years, there is no way of knowing.
I just feel so helpless. Sharon is my soulmate, I feel I have been looking for her my entire life, but now I've found her, we have to go through this. It's so unfair. I have been working so hard to raise the money for us to get a house, and for her to have nice things, but all it seems to have achieved is to keep the wolves at bay while we deal with her health.
She said to me last week, when we got home from the hospital after finding out the cancer had returned, that she would understand if I decided to walk away, but I can't. I love her, and I promised her the day she was diagnosed that I would be there for her, come what may. This is so hard, but it's easier than leaving her to go through this alone.
Her next treatment is palliative, not curative, so it is purely to make her more comfortable and to keep the cancer at bay. I'm so scared for her, but can't show it. She is being positive, but I don't think she is ready to face the fact that she might not survive this. All I want is for her to be happy for as long as we have left.
I saw my doctor tonight, and he told me that I should not lose hope yet, and that although "palliative" chemo is unlikely to cure the cancer, it is still too soon to lose hope, and that although things do look bleak, it could be 6 months, or 10 years, there is no way of knowing.
I just feel so helpless. Sharon is my soulmate, I feel I have been looking for her my entire life, but now I've found her, we have to go through this. It's so unfair. I have been working so hard to raise the money for us to get a house, and for her to have nice things, but all it seems to have achieved is to keep the wolves at bay while we deal with her health.
She said to me last week, when we got home from the hospital after finding out the cancer had returned, that she would understand if I decided to walk away, but I can't. I love her, and I promised her the day she was diagnosed that I would be there for her, come what may. This is so hard, but it's easier than leaving her to go through this alone.
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