A tribute to Sharon

For those of you that knew Sharon, I have set up a memorial site on GoneTooSoon. If you'd like to light a candle for her, or leave a message, go to her memorial site here...

I am still missing her so much, but have spent the last two days sober and trying to get my act together. I know she does not want me falling apart, and she needs to me to carry on being strong for her.

I miss her so much

It's really not getting any easier. I still seem to be getting drunk every day, and staying in the flat for too long really brings it home. I just can't seem to get my head around the fact that I am never going to hold my Sharon again. It just hurts so much.

I know I really should be going back to work, but I just can't face anything right now. If I don't go to the pub I just curl up in bed.

Maybe I should start taking the anti-depressants again. I think I will got the doctors tommorow, see if I can get some help, because I really feel like I am losing my grip.

Trying to cope without her...

I have spent the last 12 days drunk. I miss her so much. She was the centre of my universe from the day we met, and even more so for the last year as I have walked beside her, helping her fight the cancer.

And now, she's gone. I'm trying to cope, but I am just devastated. For the last year I have been trying to keep her spirits up saying things like "come on babe, just get well, then we can get married, move into a new house and have nice things", and "hang in there princess, you can beat this...it's all going to be alright", and to be honest, although I knew deep down that I would lose her, I just could'nt lose hope.

But now, there is no hope. No Sharon, nothing is left, just wreckage.

I walked with her as far as I could, but in the end, she had to go. I know that. I know she gave it her best shot - WE gave it our best shot, but it was just bigger than both of us.

No more pain, no more suffering for my princess

Now, I am trying to carry on for her, for her boys, my step sons. We gave her a good send-off. Over 100 people attended her funeral and a good 60 people came to the wake. We had a huge party, to celebrate her life and remember the love and laughter she brought to our lives.

In her will, she asked me to be Lewis' guardian until he is old enough to stand on his own two feet, and I promised her before she died I would look after both her sons as if they were my own. I made my commitment to all three of them, not just her, and now she has died, that commitment still stands. I don't know how, but somehow, the three men in her life wil muddle through without her. It's what she wanted.

I will continue to post on this blog as we move forward, as I'm sure sometimes I will need to get stuff off of my chest.

Sharon's Eulogy

Where to begin?

I’ve tried to understand why Sharon had to leave us, and to be honest, I don’t think I ever will, but, I do know that Sharon did what she came to do.

She raised two great sons, who don’t do drugs, steal cars or mug old ladies. She did what she came to do.

She gave her family and friends some fantastic memories of laughter and fun, so much laughter. She did what she came to do.

She was my soulmate, my best friend, the one. She was someone nobody can ever replace. She taught me about true love and how to be a man. I’m a better man for knowing her – She did what she came to do

I think this poem pretty much says it all…

A Legacy of Love

A wife, a mother, a great friend too,
This is the legacy we have from you.
You taught us love and how to fight,
You gave us strength, you gave us might.
A stronger person would be hard to find,
And in your heart, you were always kind.
You fought for us all in one way or another,
Not just as a wife not just as a mother.
For all of us you gave your best,
Now the time has come for you to rest.
So go in peace, you've earned your sleep,
Your love in our hearts, we'll eternally keep.

Rest now princess, you will always be remembered and you will always live in our hearts for as long as we live. I love you so much.

Goodbye My Beautiful Princess

My Sharon passed away at 9.55pm last night. I was holding her hand.

She's gone.